Choose Joy!
I noticed something remarkable recently when I attended a seminary with Les Brown, a famous motivational speaker. He asked several people to tell their story and a minute later re-told their stories as if they were his own stories. Each person rambled, went from one aspect to another, but often with no clear connection and direction. Then Les re-told the story and out of nowhere every aspect, every word, every image was exactly at the right place, at the right time. And each time it took my breath away. When the people on the stage told their version of the story, the audience felt distracted. When Les talked, the room was filled with elictricity. No matter what the reality seemed to be for those people who told their stories, he was able to turn their experiences into heart-wrenching, mythical experiences of wisdom and profound connection. I was lucky to experience an absolute master of storytelling.
I realized that there is one element that unites all great motivational speakers and writers - and it is the same thing that marks visionaries, mentors and great teachers. It is the one thing that can bring us enourmous joy and better relationships.
It is the ability to choose joy.
It is not so much that people experience different things. Rich or poor, happy or unhappy, successful or failure - we all experience a lot of the same routines. We all sit in vehicles, in front of desks and screens. We eat the same things. We talk to similar people. We miss the same buses, we have to deal with sunshine and rain, with heat and floods. We all breath the same air, we have mundane things that go wrong every day. Things are as often bad as they are good, often as difficult as they are easy. What is more important though is the ability to select the upside or downside. What do we focus our attention and energy on?
Lucky people are often lucky by choice. They minimize the bad sides. They gloss over them fast and spend most of their time exploring upsides. People like Les Brown are able to take random experiences that are not special in any objective sense - and yet they are able to look behind the surface and see beauty, meaning and purpose. They don't devalue small wins. They don't ignore tiny successes. They zoom in on them, magnify and multiply them. They bask in them and celebrate them.
This is a skill that we can develop. But it is also a choice.
In a world that becomes more and more mediocre, conflict ridden and negative, the skill to choose joy is invaluable.
What is your natural tendency? Are you more comfortable to focus on problems, conflicts and difficulties? Or do you prefer to focus on opportunities, resolutions and blessings?
What if you take 30 days and switch your focus to the other side?
I suggest that you do the following
- look at the good and bad sides of things objectively
- make a conscious choice to spend less time on the downsides
- choose joy
- amplify joy, put your focus and energy into it. Act on it. Grow it. Expose yourself it. Share it.
When have you done something out of pure joy recently? Even though it makes no sense whatsoever? Pick one thing today and do it.